Lately I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be single; especially being a Christian Single, and the fact that I am a woman over 50. Well, THAT, narrows the odds considerably, in the "dating pool."
In all actuality, I have to admit that sometimes I am lonely, that I would like to be taken out to a movie or dinner, or just have the joy of receiving a bouquet of flowers or a sweet card; but then I look at the scripture and read the words of the Apostle Paul: "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
Philippians 4:11
Immediately I am convicted; why? First of all because I know where having thoughts like that can take me, and I do not want to have a pity party of one. I realize that even though, yes someday, I would like to meet a nice Christian gentleman, I have to be careful not to make that my main focus.
You see, I also realize how easily it would be for the enemy to take those simple, normal desires and spin them out of control, and get my mind completely off focusing on God and onto a desperate search for an earthly relationship. I know this because I've been there my friends, and saw how easy it was to slip into that mindset. Remember in the Bible where Jesus called Peter out of the boat, and asked Peter to walk out onto the water to him? As long as Peter kept his eyes fixed on Jesus, he was walking on the water, despite the storm and winds raging all around him! However, immediately the moment that Peter took his eyes off Jesus, he began to sink.
I don't want to be like Peter in that respect. I recently set up profiles on some dating sites, and even paid for a month's subscription for one. Wow! What an eyeopener that was for me. First of all, it prompted me to write my previous posts about "Plenty of Fish in The Sea," and secondly, it made me realize how easy it was to lose my focus, to get "caught up" in the excitement of checking my email each day to see if I had a "wink" or a message from someone. It wasted a lot of my time, especially when the two men I eventually responded to, turned out to be not what they said they were. In fact, one was pretending to live in my city, when he was actually living thousands of miles away in another state, and everything he said to me was a lie. I believed it for a short time, but then when "red flags" showing up and I caught him in his lies and confronted him, I thought, gees, I've really been duped!
I haven't taken my profiles down from all the sites yet, ( I probably don't even remember my profile names and passwords) however, I blocked all emails from coming to my inbox, so that I would not be tempted to even go there again. Now just for the record, I have to admit that I have several friends who actually have found love on dating sites, but I have also heard numerous disaster stories as well. I have just chosen that at this time, I won't waste my time and energy going there.
I've decided that if God wants me to be in a Godly relationship with someone, that HE (God) will make it happen for me. Yeah, I know; some people think that is a totally crazy idea, as if God would literally bring somebody to my doorstep! However, I am in a place where I am choosing my focus to be totally on God, and that I am trusting him to decide if I should be in a relationship with someone. I am also reminded of these scriptures and God's promises to me.
Luke 12:31 "But rather seek ye the kingdom of God: and all these things shall be added unto you."
Psalms 37:4-5 "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass."
I am simply believing and trusting that if I put God first and foremost in my life, then he will take care of my personal needs and the desires of my heart. He created me; he knows me inside and out, and ultimately he knows what's best for me. Just like one of my favorite old hymns; "His Eye is On The Sparrow," if God's eye is on each and every sparrow, how much more is his eye on me, his daughter.
On a lighter note, maybe I should change the title of my blog, because, I am in reality, not losing sleep over being single; I rest in the peace that God is in total control of my life; even in my being single. :)
