For those of you who are reading my blog for the very first time; I would appreciate it if you would go back and read my first post in November, so you will understand where my heart lies in writing this blog. This blog is not gender specific, and it is no way intended to bash anyone, nor discourage anyone who is ready to date again. In my last post, I spoke about all the "fish" in my life that had gotten away.
Today, I would like to address another category of fish in the sea; those that are the "dangerous ones" that lie beneath the pretty, calm blue sea, in the deep murky depths. These are the predators that lie in wait; searching continuously for those who will become their prey. The predators seek out their "victims" carefully choosing the ones that appear to be the most vulnerable, needy, or desperate. I am sure that we all have encountered at least one of these "predators" in our lives. They are extremely dangerous; they are not only toxic, but have the ability to totally "snowball" us into believing that they are something good, when their motives are evil. If we are not careful and we "take their bate," we can put our emotional and physical lives at risk. They can strip us of everything that is good in our lives, weaken our walk with God, and take us on a journey to a place where we never had any intention of ever going to. If we let our guard down, and not recognize them for who and what they are, they can consume us to the point where we feel completely dead, fearful, and insecure of being able to trust again. Now, I want to reiterate that not all "fish in the sea" are like that; however, not everyone out there in the dating land is what they appear to be, so beware, be cautious, and be ultimately careful when fishing in the dating pool or sea.
Here are a few of the predators that loom in the dark deep waters. First there are obviously the Sharks: usually they are the easiest the spot. Sharks are flashy, their fins rise high above the water, allowing us to recognize them as sharks. They swim around their prey, circling them, waiting for them to be isolated from the safety of being in a group of others, before going in for the kill. They are without mercy. Their one desire is to get what they want, with no regard at the least for their prey. Their appetite is deadly. You can easily recognize sharks in the dating field by their approach, by the words they use to entice you ( their bait) and by their constant need to get your attention through the wrong means. Sharks are usually pretty up front in their desires and express it in their conversations and actions. Their main goal is all about the physical connection (sex) and they will use flattery and endearments heaped up one on top of another, to get you to succumb to their charm. Beware of the sharks! When someone acts like a shark, swims like a shark, behaves like a shark, and you start to see red flags in regard to their actions and behavior, get out of the water, as quick as you can and get to safety immediately!
The next predator that is in the sea of fish, is the Stingray. Now stingrays usually don't attack people, so they may appear to not be a threat. Most of the time, it is safe to be around them, however, they can be deadly as well. Remember Steve Irwin, the alligator and snake chaser? He is the perfect example of what a stingray can do under certain circumstances. Stingrays in the dating world, do not appear dangerous like the sharks are; they come across non threatening, and seem to be safe to be around, however, given a little time, and the true colors of a stingray may start to appear. Little white lies, unexplainable actions or excuses. Red flags start showing up, so when they do, Pay Attention to them! Maya Angelou once said; people will show you their true colors, and when they do, believe them the first time; don't wait until the 25 time to believe them! Beware of the stingray, and don't be their next victim.
Finally, the last and maybe the least dangerous predator in the sea is the Jellyfish. They too, may appear to be safe to be in the water with, but watch out for their sting! Their danger lies in the fact that we get to the point where we feel safe around them. Then, something small happens, maybe they make a comment about our weight, or something else that is seemingly innocent. They may, start emotionally abuse us, but we defend them, brushing it aside, and not recognizing it for what it really is. Or, they may start controlling and subtly manipulating us in ways that once again seem so innocent at first, that we ignore them completely. Red flags, red flags, red flags! Be forewarned that this type of behavior is just a PREVIEW of what will soon come after, if we continue to stay in the water with a jellyfish.
So that, my dear readers, are my warnings about the predators that lie in the "Plenty of Fish Sea." Do you recognize any of them? I am sure that there are many good keep able fish in the sea, however, it behooves us to keep our guard up, and pay attention to the warning signs, red flags, especially when you start to see any of the behaviors mentioned above. Do not dismiss them, they are real. They are whispers coming up from your soul, warning you to get away, and get away quickly!
Keep coming back for more interesting tidbits about dating. This is a journey that we are all in together, and please feel free to leave any thoughts or comments you might have in the comment link below. Until next time, I remain,
"Sleepless in South Carolina."
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