Being Single Minded

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what it means to be single; especially being a  Christian Single, and the fact that I am a woman over 50. Well, THAT, narrows the odds considerably, in the "dating pool."

In all actuality, I have to admit that sometimes I am lonely, that I would like to be taken out to a movie or dinner, or just have the joy of receiving a bouquet of flowers or a sweet card; but then I look at the scripture and read the words of the Apostle Paul: "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
                                                                      Philippians 4:11

Immediately I am convicted; why? First of all because I know where having thoughts like that can take me, and I do not want to have a pity party of one. I realize that even though, yes someday, I would like to meet a nice Christian gentleman, I have to be careful not to make that my main focus.

You see, I also realize how easily it would be for the enemy to take those simple, normal desires and spin them out of control, and get my mind completely off focusing on God and onto a desperate search for an earthly relationship. I know this because I've been there my friends, and saw how easy it was to slip into that mindset. Remember in the Bible where Jesus called Peter out of the boat, and asked Peter to walk out onto the water to him? As long as Peter kept his eyes fixed on Jesus, he was walking on the water, despite the storm and winds raging all around him!  However, immediately the moment that Peter took his eyes off Jesus, he began to sink.

I don't want to be like Peter in that respect. I recently set up profiles on some dating sites, and even paid for a month's subscription for one. Wow! What an eyeopener that was for me. First of all, it prompted me to write my previous posts about "Plenty of Fish in The Sea," and secondly, it made me realize how easy it was to lose my focus, to get "caught up" in the excitement of checking my email each day to see if I had a "wink" or a message from someone. It wasted a lot of my time, especially when the two men I eventually responded to, turned out to be not what they said they were. In fact, one was pretending to live in my city, when he was actually living thousands of miles away in another state, and everything he said to me was a lie. I believed it for a short time, but then when "red flags" showing up and I caught him in his lies and confronted him, I thought, gees, I've really been duped!

I haven't taken my profiles down from all the sites yet, ( I probably don't even remember my profile names and passwords) however, I blocked all emails from coming to my inbox, so that I would not be tempted to even go there again. Now just for the record, I have to admit that I have several friends who actually have found love on dating sites, but I have also heard numerous disaster stories as well. I have just chosen that at this time, I won't waste my time and energy going there.

I've decided that if God wants me to be in a Godly relationship with someone, that HE (God) will make it happen for me. Yeah, I know; some people think that is a totally crazy idea, as if God would literally bring somebody to my doorstep! However, I am in a place where I am choosing my focus to be totally on God, and that I am trusting him to decide if I should be in a relationship with someone. I am also reminded of these scriptures and God's promises to me.

Luke 12:31 "But rather seek ye the kingdom of God: and all these things shall be added unto you."

Psalms 37:4-5 "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass."

I am simply believing and trusting that if I put God first and foremost in my life, then he will take care of my personal needs and the desires of my heart. He created me; he knows me inside and out, and ultimately he knows what's best for me. Just like one of my favorite old hymns; "His Eye is On The Sparrow," if God's eye is on each and every sparrow, how much more is his eye on me, his daughter.

On a lighter note, maybe I should change the title of my blog, because, I am in reality, not losing sleep over being single; I rest in the peace that God is in total control of my life; even in my being single. :)

Searching For Boaz

For those of you who are familiar with the Bible, most of you know one of the most mentioned love stories in the Bible, is the story of Ruth and Boaz, found in the book of Ruth. When you have the opportunity, take the time to read it.

The Bible also mentions a few relationships that were "not so great" to say the least. Take for instance the story of King David and his "relationship" with Bathsheba. He saw her, desired her, lusted after her, and was left broken in his heart and spirit. However, God heard David's cry of repentance, forgave him and renewed a right spirit within him. Then, there is the story of Samson and Delilah; how she enticed him to the point that he revealed to her the source of his strength and she ultimately cut off his hair, and he lost not only his strength, but ultimately his life as well. My point to all this is to be careful and cautious in seeking new relationships, because all that glitters is not gold, and every man is most definitely not a "Boaz" which I am using this term loosely to designate a Godly man. So, that being said, here is something that will hopefully make you laugh and smile on your dating journey.  Read this next section closely; you may recognize some of your exes or current people in your relationship history. LOL!

This is a reprint from: LiveLifeHappy.com

To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend, or get married; a piece of Biblical advice:

"Ruth waited patiently for her mate, Boaz."

 While you're waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his Relatives:

Broke-az, Po-az, Lying-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az,

Cheaper-az, Locked Up-az, Good For Nothing-az,

Lazy-az and ESPECIALLY his third cousin;

Beatingyo-az.

"Wait on your Boaz and make sure he Respects Yo-az."

I apologize in advance for the "az" part, but it sure does get the message across, doesn't it? I hope it made you laugh or smile today; but more importantly, I hope you take the time to see if you've dated or been married
aed to any of Boaz's relatives. Don't be desperate, dont' settle because you are impatient or because your eemotional clock is ticking. Wait on God; wait for YOUR Boaz!

As Always I remain: "Sleepless in South Carolina."

Single, Again......

Welcome to my first post at Sleepless in South Carolina:

Being a single woman today is not easy by no respect; add to that I am a woman in her fifties, a devout Christian, curvy, who does not want to be any body's mother (or purse) and that complicates the situation even further.

I could write a song, based on the old tune, "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" and re title it: "Where Have All The Good Men Gone?" LOL!  Seriously, for all those single women today who are looking for just ONE good man, well, the pickings seem slim to none. Either they live a gazillion miles away, or they don't even exist.

Now just to make an instant clarification: this blog is not intended to bash men. But facts are facts. I am just calling it as I see it it. What I hope to do with this blog is to encourage my single friends that there is hope, even if we don't see or feel it right now. I want to give you a reason to smile and laugh now and then, and to realize that there are many of us out there in the same position. We are not desperate: we are choosy and have earned the right to be so. We have been hurt, wounded, manipulated and some even emotionally ( or even physically, thankfully, I was not) abused.

 But please let me reiterate for the record: ALL MEN ARE NOT LIKE THAT. That, my dear readers is my disclaimer; so if any men do happen to casually be reading this, I am giving the good ones credit where credit is due. I just don't know where there you are!

So, to set the record straight; I know what my problem has been. I  will be brutally honest with you. I have a "broken picker." I don't choose wisely. I get impatient, I get desperate, Yep. Because Of my codependency, I ignore ALL the red flags that I see, because I, in my stupidity, think I can fix them (NOT happening) or save them from "whatever," or the best one of all, drum roll please; I stupidly think that I can love them enough to change them OR they will love Me enough to change for me. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!!!

OK, that's probably enough for my first post. Hang with me though, there is much more to come. Please feel free to post your thoughts and comments, be good and clean, no profanity please, and no bashing. Love to all of you on this journey.

Until next time, I remain;

Sleepless In South Carolina